Tax Jokes and Quotes


Do you realize that some tax forms ask you to check a box if you are BLIND?

Quote: "Two years ago it was impossible to get through on the phone to the IRS. Now it's just hard to get through. That's progress." -Charles Rossotti, former IRS Commissioner

Disappointed that you never had time to write the great American novel? Don't fret, just go dig out your past tax returns.

Quote: "The Eiffel Tower is the Empire State Building after taxes."

Under the Freedom of Information Act, a man with a small business sent a request to the IRS asking if they had a file on him. The IRS wrote back, "There is now."

Quote: "It would be nice if we could all pay our taxes with a smile, but normally cash is required."

Q: Who audits IRS agents?

Quote: "Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is quite as satisfying as an income tax refund."

Q: How do you drive a CPA insane?

A: Fill out Form 1040EZ.

Quote: "The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect."

Why is it that when the IRS loses a tax return, it is considered a mistake, but when you lose a receipt, it is considered tax evasion?

Quote: "The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling."

Q: How do you humble a person that flaunts their wealth?

A: Have them fill out a tax return.

Quote: "Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr."

Q: Why is a tax audit like a tornado?

A: There's a lot of screaming and you end up losing your house.

Quote: "When are we going to be allowed to list the government as a dependent?"

People often say death and taxes are the same, but this is wrong. Death is a taxable event, but taxes never die.

Richard Chapo is CEO of http://www.businesstaxrecovery.com - Obtaining tax refunds for small businesses by finding overlooked tax deductions and credits through a free tax return review.



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MORE RESOURCES:

CTV.ca

Dion touts 'green shift' in taxation
National Post, Canada - 2 hours ago
In a speech to the Canadian Club of Toronto, Mr. Dion mounted a passionate defence of his "green shift" proposal, which would cut taxes on income but impose ...
Time has come to put 'price on waste and pollution': Dion CBC.ca
Canada's Dion Proposes Taxing Polluters, Cutting Other Levies Bloomberg
Dion says Canadians willing to accept carbon tax CTV.ca
Liberal.ca (press release) - Edmonton Sun
all 106 news articles


BBC News

Stability and certainty in business taxes are just as important as ...
Scotsman, United Kingdom - 6 hours ago
By Peter Jones TAXES are big news these days. This week's tax news has been led by Chancellor Alistair Darling's move to defuse the political row caused by ...
Government cuts income taxes Reuters UK
Pay-as-you-throw rubbish tax 'has not been binned' Daily Mail
Government to back down on company tax Tribune
guardian.co.uk - Times Online
all 572 news articles


Taxes catch up to online sales
Seattle Post Intelligencer - 23 hours ago
But the state is on its way to getting the taxes it is due. "We have the most regressive tax system in the nation," said Revenue Department spokesman Mike ...
High gas prices affecting state revenue Chicago Tribune
High gas prices affecting state revenue WLFI.com
Gas sales tax not filling shortfall Fort Wayne Journal Gazette
all 20 news articles


The Province

Metro hit hardest by gas taxes
Vancouver Sun,  Canada - 22 hours ago
While consumers know the pump price includes taxes, just how much isn't clearly set out. That's why once a year the taxpayers federation likes to remind ...
Gasoline taxes denounced The Province
Canadian Taxpayers Federation calling for lower gas taxes and more ... 680 News
Over 30% gas tax at the pump Lake Superior News
CBC.ca - Lethbridge Herald
all 16 news articles


Brazil halts taxes on wheat, bread
Houston Chronicle, United States - 12 hours ago
2008 AP SAO PAULO, Brazil — The Brazilian government is suspending sales taxes on wheat, wheat flour and bread until the end of 2008 to counter soaring ...


All American Patriots (press release)

Schwarzenegger Hints at Raising Taxes
U.S. News & World Report, DC - 13 hours ago
Arnold Schwarzenegger, a longtime foe of one solution—raising taxes—has decided to give voters here a dramatic choice. To close the state's $17 billion ...
Schwarzenegger on taxes, immigration and more Los Angeles Times
Higher taxes put on table Press-Enterprise
Governor shares plan for California’s budget crisis Daily Pilot
Capitol Weekly - Reading Advocate
all 499 news articles


Inside NoVA

Kaine's tax plan gets tepid backing from Democrats
The Virginian-Pilot, VA - 1 hour ago
Timothy M. Kaine has to fight Republican opposition to his plan to increase taxes and fees to pay for transportation projects, he also must sway Democratic ...
Post Metro Columnist Washington Post
Delegate Hull's News from the Coffin Corner Falls Church News Press
Cline Opposes Kaine's Transportation Proposal Rockbridge Weekly
Franklin News Post - The Virginian-Pilot
all 164 news articles


Customs broker evades $4.7 million in taxes and duties
Winnipeg Sun, Canada - 14 hours ago
By THE CANADIAN PRESS TORONTO — A Toronto customs broker who evaded $4.7 million in duties and taxes has been sentenced to prison on 16 charges. ...


Kyrgyzstan fines Centerra $3 mln in back taxes
Reuters India, India - 14 hours ago
TO: Quote, Profile, Research) $3.4 million in back taxes on Thursday, adding to the woes of the gold miner already involved in other legal battles. ...


Raleigh Chronicle

Sin taxes becoming popular proposals
News 14 Carolina, NC - May 14, 2008
Mike Easley and lawmakers will soon battle over so called sin taxes. Easley wants to increase the tax on cigarettes and alcohol. He says the money is needed ...
Easley gives budget pitch University of North Carolina The Daily Tar Heel
NC governor seeks higher taxes on smokes, alcohol Houston Chronicle
Tax reform push matches need for change in funding Chester DailyLocal.com
Greensboro News Record - WRAL.com
all 254 news articles

Taxes - Google News

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